Yuugi Nonsense
by Blue the Werewolf
Summary: Constant obscure jokes and adventures of Yami and Yuugi. Also known as "The Story with Possibly No Plot or Point." Brother story to The Kaiba Mansion.
1. Random Day

This is an odd little idea I came up with. For the moment, I have nothing else. Oh well, it is different from my usual fantasy, non-manga type of writing, and that is fine. Sorry if I disappoint anyone who is expecting more. NOTE: One part of this chapter is based off a commercial on TV for Yu-Gi-Oh which inspired me and sorry if anyone is mad.  
  
Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- squiggly (thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud)

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Yuugi and Yami were walking in the park to meet Anzu and Honda. Yami always hated them for rambling on about friendship. Yet, he could not hurt his aibo's feelings.  
  
Ahead in the distance, they saw Jounouchi ahead. /Hey Yuugi! Oh... and Yami./ Jounouchi still was not used to the whole Yuugi-has-another-darker- soul-in-his-head dealy. It had been a couple months since Yuugi told everyone. /Anyway, everyone cancelled. They couldn't show up. I gotta go and work at my dad's restaurant. C' ya./  
  
"Okay, bye!"  
  
I am glad he's gone. Although, I don't detest him as much as the others for he annoys everyyone a lot.  
  
"Oh, Yami, I told you that they are my friends. Give them a chance and you'll like them."  
  
And what have I gotten from that? He felt the sad look on his aibo's face and regretted the comment. Okay, I am sorry. Let's go get one of those deadly tubular pork things you mortals always eat.  
  
"Hot dogs? They are not deadly. They are delicious!"  
  
To the untrained eye they are safe. But eat one of those each day and over the years the cholesterol will get you.  
  
"Oh, Yami." They two walked into the shop and sat at a worn, old stool. A server came up. /Our special today is chicken and hamburgers./  
  
Get the chicken, get the chicken!!! Yami yelled inside Yuugi's head.  
  
"Umm... I'll get a hamburger..."  
  
Argh, okay. But get it with cheese.  
  
"... with cheese." Yuugi added.  
  
/Want onions on that?/  
  
"Okay." Yami shuddered.  
  
Don't forget the k-k-k-ketchup!!!!! Yami said with way too much vigor. Yuugi winced at Yami's psychotic yell. The Egyptians must have never had hamburgers.  
  
After the hamburger was finished, they got the bill. "Why does it say 'kid's hamburger'? I mean, I'm 16." Yami didn't answer. He was thinking about what Yuugi would look like in swim trunks.  
  
/Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were a kid./ commented the server. Yuugi cringed at the fact that Yuugi was so short and child like. Why didn't he look like Yami who was tall and mature looking. He was supposed to be his reincarnation. Yuugi forgot that Yami could read his mind. He smiled at the thought of Yuugi thinking that he was mature looking and cute and wanting Yami to be his boyfriend... Wait, he was going too far.  
  
Umm... errr... Yuugi, do you want to go to that place where you sit in a dark room and they blink a flashlight at a wall?  
  
"A movie theatre?"  
  
Eh, yeah, I heard that they are going to show something about a hyped-up fish trying to kill his son.  
  
"That is 'Finding Nemo' silly. That sounds great. And he is not trying to kill anyone."  
  
Any demons?  
  
"No."  
  
Oh well, it doesn't sound as good anymore but maybe I can still see someone kill somebody else.  
  
"You are funny." Yami knew his sweet Yuugi was a bit on the dumb side, but that was normal, right? And he could not by mad at that perpetually smiling face.  
  
Oh well, he would find some way to preoccupy his mind through the movie. Yuugi?  
  
"Yes?"  
  
What is a 'nemo'?

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Well, I will come back to fix any names or words. I don't know if I will continue this. Oh well. Do not fear, I will continue with my usual fantasy stories. Keep reviewing and oh yeah, just to remind you... REVIEW!!! 


	2. Giggly School Blues

Thanx to Junko the Lost for giving me ideas for some of the character professions. Thanx again!!! This is kind of based on my schedule. Some Yugi-based people may not fit their TV casting, but it is all for the fun of it. And, I know some of Yuugi's teachers are his age, so what! RR and give more random ideas.  
  
Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person

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Yuugi and Yami awoke bleary eyed the next day at 6 o'clock. Yami had decided for them to go to a sushi restaurant then a bar after watching Finding Nemo. The hangover seemed to be stabbing at Yuugi's temple. He grabbed his matching black shirt, pants, and cloak combo and his spike bracelet. He was not trying to look like a Goth, he just wanted to look older than 10. The next ten minutes were spent trying to separate Yugi's blond streaks from his tinted hair with a comb. A sprits of hair spray, a piece of toast, and they were off to school.  
  
Yuugi had to go to school, of course, but Yami was always annoyed by it. However, today was the first day with new teachers. They walked through the rusted front door of the high school and onto first period. Unfortunately, today was gym day and Yuugi hated how the bullies would always tackle him for no reason. Yami loved gym for the pain.  
  
With his oversized basketball shirt, Yuugi walked into the gym. Anzu was sitting in a ring of people holding hands. "Um... Anzu, why is everyone holding hands?"  
  
/Oh, I didn't tell you, I am the gym teacher. Everyone throwing balls and tackling each other is not nice. Only the power friendship will keep us fit."  
  
_So that is what the gay love chain is all about.  
  
_"Shhhh, Yami" So for the rest of the period they just sat 'and made friends'. Although Yami kept on muttering death under his breath. Next was French.  
  
Yami and Yuugi walked into his second class with a stunned looked on their face. Jonochi stood in front of the room with a pointer in his hand. /Bonjorni, mon copainne. Welcome to Mr. J's French class./ Jounouchi said with an obvious wink.  
  
_Umm... We are supposed to listen to him?  
  
_/Have a seat over there, Yuugi. Now everyone one repeat after me: Bonjorni, je mappil Jounouchi. Je parl Franka. Now you./ No one responded.  
  
Yami silently laughed. _What a moron. First, that idiot cannot even pronounce or read French. Second, his New York accent is too thick for anyone to understand him in English, let alone French.  
  
_/Ok, if no one will answer, then Yuugi, you repeat./  
  
"Ok, Bonjour, je m'appelle Yuugi. Je parle Français." Yuugi said correctly. "Was that good?"  
  
/Yuugi, Yuugi, Yuugi, you're my friend and all, but you did horribly. You pronounce everything wrong and Yugi is not a French word./ Yuugi sighed and putt his head between his hands.  
  
Computer class was an even more interesting experience. Rishido, of all people, was the teacher. _So the ancient guarder of a tomb is now the ancient beholder of technology. Yami stated with a sneer.  
  
_/I will be right with you once I figure how to turn this thing on. Oh, the gods must hate me for they will not give this machine life./ He took his staff and rammed it through the screen. Yuugi leaned forward and pushed the power switch on another computer. It responded with 'You Got Mail'. /I do not see any mail messengers. And what is this 'gigabyte' thing.../  
  
_So this is what happens to people desperate for money_.  
  
The cafeteria was jammed packed with struggling high school students. As Yuugi neared the beginning of the line he was waiting in, Yami reminded constantly reminded him _to get the chicken!!!!!!!  
  
_Yuugi glanced at the cafeteria worker who then began trying to conceal his face by pulling his hair net over his face. As he got closer to him, Yuugi and Yami recognized him. It was Seto!  
  
"Kaiba? Seto Kaiba, is that you. Shouldn't you be at KC right now?"  
  
/Well/ Seto said in a very harsh tone, /duelists are at school now and my business is low in profit now. This is nearby and no one important will see me. Now take your chicken and bug off./ Yami was laughing wildly in Yuugi's head.  
  
"Seto of all people! That is so sad."  
  
_Yes it is, aibo. _Yami was obviously trying to contain his wicked giggles. Yuugi ate his chicken to Yami's odd delight and headed to fifth period. As he approached his cooking class, he could smell the delicious foods baking. To his surprise (although he should not be after all the weird teachers), Bakura was standing in front of a stove in the class.  
  
/Welcome all,/ he stated in a fruity British accent. /Today as a starter I will be showing you how to cook a pot roast in the oven./ 

No, I want to make a soufflé!!! exclaimed a deep voice from Bakura.

/This is my nice class and I know they want to know how to make pot roast./

But, I want some difficulty. Just kill them all and we can just make whatever we want! His millennium ring began to shine as the two sides fought each other.

/I got this job to help others./

Ok, help ME kill them!

/No!/ Bakura's hands shot up to his throat as he began to strangle himself.  
  
Everyone just left the room leaving the bickering teacher to fight among himself. _Apparently, he cannot control his sides. He needs to be like us with no troubles at all._ Yuugi rolled his eyes.  
  
"Hey, we have Home Ec. next."  
  
_But, Yuugi. Isn't that for girls._  
  
"What do you mean?" The bell rang and Yuugi ran in the room. No teacher was there. Malik stepped into the room.  
  
/Hello, you pitiful beings. I will be teaching. The pain you will endure will be never ending. You will learn about some things... though./ Yami tensed. /I will teach you the correct way of applying eye liner, as I brilliantly do, and how to the correct amount of starch to use to give your coat the wind blown look. But Yuugi already knows how to do that, don't you Yuugi?/ Yuugi gulped.  
  
Malik spent the rest of the class talking about his tortured days in Egypt and about how annoying Bakura is.  
  
The day ended with Yuugi walking home with Serenity (dressed for cheerleading afterschool). The only homework he had was to pray to the Egyptian gods for e-mails. Yami was still laughing about Seto.

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Bonjour, je m'appelle Yuugi. Je parle Français. – This means hello, my name is Yuugi. I speak French.  
  
Give me some other humorous ideas. I will use them! 


	3. Snow Day!

Another interesting day for the Y team. Today, I will express my hatred for winter through my characters. Junko the Lost, again, has come to the rescue and given me some ideas. But, I can get these ideas easily since she comes over to my house. To make me feel not guilty, just read her great stories. Get funky now!  
  
Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized_(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
I DON'T OWN YUUGIOU! Just a little someting someting for anyone who wants to sue me.

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Yuugi sat up from a sleepless night's rest for Yami had kept him up with his persistent laughing. They stepped bleary eyed out of the front door to go to school. It had snowed. Yami stuttered at the sight of the white, untouched landscape. The cold nipped at Yuugi's toes so he closed the front door. Yuugi ran up the stairs and grabbed his snow pants and shoes.  
  
"Weeeeee!" Yuugi yelled practically bouncing off the walls. He marched outside and grabbed his sled.  
  
As they walked down the street to the sledding hill, they saw Malik standing outside his front porch spraying the air with a hair spray can. "Umm... Mr. I, what are you doing?"  
  
/I hate snow with a passion! Apparently, hair spray in the air from everyone in the world is damaging the ozone layer. I am helping along global warming. Take that ecosystem!/ Malik began laughing maniacally. Yuugi just backed away.  
  
_Is that Bakura over there? He looks dead_. Yami did not say that with worry, just as a-matter-of-factly. _Let's go kick him.  
_  
"Oh Yami." Yuugi stepped up to the motionless Bakura in the snow. He began frantically waving his arms and legs over the snow.  
  
_Is he epileptic?_  
  
"No, he's making a snow angel." All the sudden, Bakura jumped up.  
  
/Oh, hey Yuugi./  
  
And Yami...  
  
/I was just making a snow angel./  
  
Or what it really should be called, a demonic angel of death.  
  
"Um, ok. Do you want to go sledding with us." After Yuugi had finished the last word, Bakura was off. He returned with a brand new snowboard.  
  
_I cannot imagine Yami Bakura snowboarding._  
  
"You snowboard?"  
  
/Yes, quite well might I say./  
  
_Bakura, snowboarding!_ He began laughing as he had the day before.  
  
After Yami calmed down, the three set off for the sledding hill. Then, something hit the back of Yuugi's head. Cold lumps of ice ran down his back. He turned around to see who threw the snowball, but no one was there. They began to walk again but two snowballs knocked him to the ground. "Hey who did that?!?"  
  
Seto stepped out from behind a car. Shizuka waved from behind a couple of garbage cans. _Oh please let me hit them, aibo. Just for a moment. Please.  
  
_"Ok, but only because I can't throw." Yami Bakura was a step ahead of him. He scooped his hand into the pile of snow and whipped a snowball at Kaiba. Yami bent down and rolled behind a nearby snow mound and prepared his ammunition. Both yamis hammered Seto to the ground with wide, evil grins on their faces. However, Shizuka unexpectedly shot round after round of snowballs at their backs with a great force. She seemed to have an endless supply of snow behind her shots, so the yamis retreated.  
  
Kaiba pointed and snickered from the top of a car at the two losers. /You couldn't even beat a girl!/ Serenity turned around and pelted him with a snowball knocking Seto off the car.  
  
/Only a girl, eh?/ Shizuka humphed and stomped away.  
  
Yami just shook his head at the situation and let Yuugi control again. Bakura's face softened. /Let's go get ice cream!/ Bakura exclaimed.  
  
"You are so stupid." Yuugi stated with a smile of innocence.

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I will write of the snowboarding and some interesting things about Seto. I have a little more to write about the snow day, but I need more ideas too. R. Note: Junko again!!! She edited all the names! Thanx Plus, random quote of the day: "there are 3 types of people in the world, the ones who can count and the ones who can't. 


	4. Snow Day Part II!

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person

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Yami and Yuugi began to walk down the street alone almost as if they were embarrassed for Seto. Ahead, they saw Jounouchi dancing upon a mound of snow. As they approached him, they heard him chanting, /I built a snow fort,/ over and over.  
  
_What is he doing? _Yami mentally mumbled.  
  
Seeing Yuugi and very proud of his work, Jouno yelled, /Why doncha come in?/ Yami, obviously not understanding the concept of a snow fortress, made Yuugi lift his foot and plant it directly into the center of the strong hold. Jouno's jaw dropped as his eye twitched. /Wh-why did you do that?!?/ he sobbed as he fell to his knees, /That took me two hours to make! My fo-o-o-ort.../  
  
_It took him two hours to make a lump of snow?  
  
_"It's not just that, Yami. It's the heart of the ca ... I mean snow." Yami did not understand this stupid theory of his aibo, but just wondered to himself about when Yugi would take a bath that night.  
  
Around the corner was the biggest sledding hill in Domino. Kaiba and Mokuba waited at the top. Bakura ran up to Yuugi huffing and puffing. /You must have just accidentally forgot about me./ he said with a smile.  
  
/Yeah, sure, he ACCIDENTALLY left you behind./ Seto stated with an obvious sneer.  
  
Ignoring the comment, Bakura gestured and said, /Come, let's hit the hill./ With that, Jouno grabbed his sled and sprinted up the hill.  
  
/Hey, Seto,/ Jouno smiled, /ready to sled?/  
  
/I don't sled.../ and then Jouno grabbed Seto and dragged him down as the sled started slipping down the hillside. Yami cackled silently as he watched Seto's legs flail while he tried to upright his inverted position in the back of the sled. This, though, was followed by a loud THUNK!  
  
"Uh oh, we better go check on them Yami." Yuugi stated with a semi- concerned, semi-happy look on his face.  
  
_Oh, I'm sure that big pine tree at the bottom stopped them.  
  
_"But, what if they're hurt?"  
  
_Do not worry, Seto probably used Jounouchi as a human shield, aibo_. Yami and Yuugi just shrugged this off, because it was not uncommon for Seto to abuse Jouno. At the end of the hill, they saw Seto walking away from the crumpled sled embedded in a tree with, of course, a smile.  
  
"Uh, where's Jouno?"  
  
/He's that twitching mass over there by the tree. You know, he's pretty sturdy when need him,/ Seto said. And with that, Jounouchi leaped up and yelled, /Why you... Come back here, you jerk! You want a piece of me?!?/ Yami and Yuugi just watch as he followed Seto up the hill while continually yelling at him.  
  
Bakura suddenly showed up at their feet face down in the snow.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
/Yes, quite. I have decided to try my luck at snowboarding./  
  
You idiot, I told you we should have gone swimming today!his Yami yelled out.  
  
/Well, I didn't want to. Besides, it's my body, too./ Bakura declared. /Plus, you always make wear Speedo. Why do you do make me do that? They are quite uncomfortable./ Yuugi began to walk away from another one of Bakura's mental catfights, but not before hearing /Ow . . .did you just stick me with the ring's prongs, you meanie! . . ./  
  
Yami and Yuugi began walking home. Seto ran past them. Apparently, Jouno had found something sharp and was now chasing him. It was odd watching Seto run because he kept his arms at 90-degree angles and pumped them furiously. With them gone, the two continued walking on the snow dusted road.  
  
_Hey, Yuugi. Can I buy you Speedo for your Birthday._  
  
Yuugi replied in the only manner he could to Yami, "Oh, Yami."

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Note: this story will never end and I use random ideas of all kinds. So, if you give me one. I'll mention your name a bazillion times. WEEEEEEEE! Bye 


	5. Electronics, argh!

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)

Yami- _italisized_ (thinking)

Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrowif two-sided person

Today, we shall explore the wonder that is the Yu-Gi-Oh cast and electronics. Although this would never happen on the show, I still have fun with it. Enjoy!

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Buzz, buzz, buzz! Yuugi groggily woke up to the annoying sound of his alarm clock. "Stop buzzing Jouno," Yuugi mumbled for he constantly had to silence Jounouchi's buzzing when he got too excited. Yami took control, grabbed the clock, and hurled it out the window. Knowing it was Saturday with no school, Yuugi left his PJ bottom and no shirt combo on as he went down stairs. Yami, in his creepy way, insisted that he change before he went but to no avail.  
  
It was still snowy outside and some random people were hanging around his house. This was usual for some reason. As Yuugi entered the kitchen, he noticed soapsuds all over the floor. "Huh, what?" Yuugi asked sleepily. He followed the trail to the laundry room where Malik stood frantically next to the washing machine in his boxers. He was pushing buttons randomly while periodically whacking the lid with his rod.  
  
/Darn contraption! First, I try to wash my pants. Then, I add my cape and it gets knotted up around the middle. Next, I added a box of this bad tasting powder to the inside, pushed a button, and the thing starts spewing bubbles everywhere!/ Malik groaned.  
  
Yuugi bent over and opened the dented lid to find the problem. He felt something hard so he dragged it out. "You put Bakura's millennium ring in here! No wonder the machine's broken!"  
  
Right then, Bakura stomped in and snatched the soapy item from Yuugi's hand. After throwing it around his neck, he humphed and marched away. "Why did you do that?"  
  
/I don't know,/ he stated in while sneering, /seemed like a good idea./ Yami and Yuugi weren't surprised by his lack of respect for the ring after seeing him beating the washer with his rod.  
  
Yami and Yuugi walked over to the kitchen after cleaning up the suds. They found Bakura wiping of the ring by the sink. /Oh, hi, Yuugi. I was just making breakfast. Want some?/  
  
"Sure." Bakura bent down and got a packet of green gunk from under the sink and poured it into a bowl. He added a carrot, a couple of eggs, some talcum powder, popsicles, and other various ingredients. Bakura blended it with an electric mixer. Yami and Yuugi watched in disgust as their friend created to gross concoction. Finally, Bakura stuck it in the microwave, which had some mysterious dents on the side, for five minutes. He pulled it out and showed it to Yuugi. Inside was hot pancake batter that Bakura poured onto plates to form the pancakes known shape. Yuugi look dumbfounded.  
  
_How did he get that from all those strange ingredients._ Yami wondered.  
  
"How did you get that from all those strange ingredients." Yugi questioned  
  
/What do you mean?/ Bakura replied with his head slightly tilted to the side.  
  
Yuugi just picked up his flapjacks and headed to the living room still confused. There, in an upside down position in front of the TV, was the VCR. "Malik, what did you do to the VCR?"  
  
/It wouldn't play./ he answered from upstairs.  
  
"You need to put a tape in first."  
  
/Who says you do?/ Yuugi just smiled and flipped over the VCR.  
  
"Now let's see if it will work." He popped a video in but it would not play. "Oh, darn it."  
  
_Here, aibo, I'll fix it. _And with that, yami made an attempt to mind crush the VCR.  
  
"Yami, you can't mind crush a VCR!"  
  
_Ugh, but it will not work.  
  
_"Oh, Yami. I'll get someone to fix it later." He went upstairs to his room so that he could get dressed. Yuugi found Seto on his bed bobbing his head and singing to himself. As Yami and Yuugi approached, they could hear him saying, /Bye, bye, bye. . / This time, both Yami and his hikari laughed. Seto opened his eyes and saw them. He almost fell off the bed in shock. He tried to find something to say but just stood up and ran. Yuugi stood there grinning and cackiggling to himself with he got dressed.  
  
Over in the computer room next to Yuugi's, they found Jouno sitting at the keyboard. For some reason, he was dancing. "Jounouchi, what are you doing?"  
  
/Ya know that cool sounds the computer makes when printing or saving on a floppy disk?/  
  
_Who would?_  
  
/Well, I'm doin the Robot to the sounds." He proceeded to dance into the middle of the room while make little computer noises.  
  
Back to his normal all day smile, Yuugi said, "Okay, bye!"  
  
Yami and Yuugi continued down the hall when Yami asked with a chuckle, _Can we go try to fix the VCR again?_

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_Cackiggle = cackle giggle. It is used when someone (especially Yami) cackles secretly to themselves but all is heard is a giggle. Yay! New word.  
  
More ideas, please.


	6. Chlorine and Yuugi

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
Hello again! I have been given many ideas through my reviews. Thankies! This one was inspired by CHAOS-CHICK3. I will mention the 'idea-givers' names at the beginning of each chapter (if that is what you call a part of a no plot and never ending story) [cough, cough]. So far, Ryou and Bakura are still in the same body and same with Malik and Yami Malik. Um, Yami Malik has not really appeared yet, and, errrr... here he is! Read on and review with ideas.  
  
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Mmmmmm, the fresh, clean smell of chlorine in your nostrils. Yuugi always seemed to love the sensation that gave him a false high. He stepped out onto the sun-baked cement and skipped over to a place he thought suitable for his towel. After strapping on his bright pink fins and matching goggles ensemble, Yuugi approached the pool.  
  
_Uh, aibo._ Yami half-scram half-warned. _Do not go into that oversized puddle! There could be water snakes in there.  
_  
Yuugi just shrugged it off with a simple, "Oh, Yami," and continued on to the slide. Once he had climbed the winding steps, Yuugi found Jouno, Yami Malik, and Bakura at the top. They all seemed to be yelling at each other about something.  
  
/Come, you know it's fun! Just try goin' down. It's even funner to slide down on your stomach,/ Jounouchi said as he pointed to his 2-pack abs.  
  
I refuse to go down that contraption. I am only up here so I can be higher than everyone else. Yami Malik grumbled at his high position atop a chair.  
  
Oh, you know it will be fun. Bakura sneered. Then, with one swift move, he whipped Yami Malik over the edge of the slide. He let out a yell as he began his backward descent. Yuugi heard something about 'curse you Ra' then followed by a splash.  
  
/Your turn!/ Jouno said and then shoved Bakura into the slide. But, like a hand rising from the grave, Bakura grabbed Jounouchi's swim trunks and pulled him down to a similar fate. Yuugi quickly followed.  
  
At the bottom, Yami Malik sat at the pool's edge with his usually spiky hair reduced to a wet lump. Jouno was doggy paddling in place waving to Yuugi. Suddenly, Bakura lunged out of the water taking Jouno into its murky depths. Everyone just watched as bubbles rose to the surface. Finally, Jouno returned and frantically swam away. Bakura emerged from the water with a hunk of blond hair in his hand. He climbed the ladder, sat down next to Yami Malik, and triumphantly stated, No one pushes me.  
  
With that, Yami Malik knocked Bakura back into the pool and replied, Me neither. And then, he returned to trying to pull his hair back up into spikes. Bakura just splashed him and dived beneath the depths. Yuugi shook his head, knowing that he was going to find more victims.  
  
On the other side of the pool, Rishido calmly lied on his floating inner tube. Seto jumped in next to him and flipped him over. Rishido hit the water and stood up yelling, /Ah, my eyes burn! The gods are punishing me!/ Seto jumped onto the tube, flicked out sunglasses from nowhere, assumed a sun bathing position, and began to float away.  
  
Bakura showed up out of nowhere and moaned, I wanted that tube. Seto, give it back.  
/There's one over there, loser,/ Seto answered. Bakura jumped out of the pool and put on the floatation device. _Pop! Sssss... _Bakura looked down to see a hole right next to one of his ring's spikes. He sighed and chucked the deflated piece of rubber back at Seto.  
  
Yuugi got bored watching this scene and made his way to the diving board. After a couple cannon balls and belly flops, he got tired and sat down near the water. Honda shouted, /Come on everyone, watch the master at work./ He leapt off the diving board and made a perfect dive.  
  
Yami uttered, _I could do that_, but then shuttered at the thought of being in the water again. Yuugi smiled to himself.  
  
Honda returned to the top of the diving board lightly touching his fingers. /Damn, I dropped my ring somewhere. I'll have to go look for it at the bottom./ He once again dived in. Honda reappeared with a mass of muck in his hand. /I didn't find my ring,/ he said with disgust, /but I found this clogging up the filter at the bottom./ He plopped the lump on the side of the water and people came over to take a look. It was a wad of tri- colored hair. Anzu looked over to Yuugi.  
  
/Um, Yuugi, do you have an allergy to chlorine?/  
  
/I don't know, why?/ Then, everyone stared at his head. He had random bald patches all over his scalp.  
  
/Eh, no reason,/ she quickly said in response.  
  
Yuugi glanced at his watch, noticing that he had to be home soon. He grabbed everything and headed out. He began to walk the street that led him to his house. Yami not knowing how to gently put this, asked, _Yuugi, you like me right?_  
  
"Of course Yami," Yuugi said with a way hyper tone and matching grin.  
  
_Well, can we stop by the drug store to get some Rogaine?  
  
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There you go. Um, bye! 


	7. Sugary Mall Adventure

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
Just a little chap-lette about the mall. More inspiration from Chaos- chick3. Thanx.  
  
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Yuugi bounced up and down in his new care bear pajamas that he just bought. Yami told him that they were going to the mall today. This made Yuugi really hyper, although he was always hyper, so how could Yami tell? They took Seto's car, which was hard since the group had to arrange themselves so all their hair fit. Upon arrival, there was a mad rush to get to the clothes section of the department store inside the mall. Apparently, all the yamis had set it up so they could dress up their hikaris.  
  
Ryou went in first and came out in a plaid skirt and white school top. Worst of all, his hair was up in pigtails with little flower scrunchies. He desperately tried to pull them out of his hair, but got his hand tangled in the ring. Next, Malik went in and returned with a skintight shirt and flowing mauve cape atop black creased pants. He grumbled at the dark colors and left to find some whites and beiges or some big gold chains. Although, Malik did like the rod accessory for it was heavy enough to whack someone with. Yuugi, expectantly, showed up in a starchy leather shirt and black short shorts. Mokuba began to giggle, pointy at Yuugi's butt. Yuugi turned to look down and noticed that it said 'yami's yummy.'  
  
In response, he cringed and started yelling at Yami (which was odd, since he was yelling at himself) while his friends just stared. Seto decided that Mokuba needed some real clothes so sent him into the dressing room. Mokuba skipped back out wearing an all black suit worthy of Wall Street. He looked at himself unsurely in the mirror and grabbed a feather boa from nowhere. Then, he put his hair up into a bun. Prancing off in his new outfit, all the hikaris began to giggle at the new Moky as Seto began to turn pink from defeat.  
  
They continued on though the department store and into the makeup section. All the sudden, perfume sprayers came from nowhere and started spritzing all the hikaris. They began frantically flailing their arms. Yami took over and began mind crushing all the sprayers. A twitching mass of people squirmed on the floor as Yami nodded in contentment. Ryou sniffed himself and stated, /I smell pretty./ Malik shook his head at Ryou but gave himself a quick smell before leaving.  
  
Outside the store, Malik spotted a DDR game at sprinted towards it. The others slowly followed. Malik dropped a couple quarters into the machine and stood posed and ready on the pads. He reached over and grabbed Ryou's arm, pulling him up onto the Player 2 pads. A spastic music began to throb and Malik moved his feet to the perfect pad at the perfect timing. Using the bar behind him, he made occasional kicks and spins. At the same time, Ryou slowly tapped his feet on the arrows to a beginner's rhythm. The song ended and onlookers stood with mouths agape at Malik's performance. He folded his arms and turned his head so that he could peek at his fans from the corner of his eye. /They have these in Egypt, too, you know,/ Malik said and then strutted off around a corner.  
  
There was a Dippin' Dots machine next to the game. Yami settled on getting chocolate but spent the next half hour trying to understand the concept of 'spherical milk forms'. Jounouchi finally ate both his and Yami's ice cream. Unfortunately, the effects of the extra sugar caused him to try to see if he could win a staring contest with Bakura. Bakura just ended up glaring at Jouno while fingering his millennium item. Jouno got really distracted and snatched the ring resulting in a down hall chase with Ryou running after him. Yami resolved in never unlocking the mystery of the creamy spheres after the incident.  
  
The group carried on through the mall stopping at KB Toys for Mokuba and Hot Topic for the others. They left still hyper Jouno at the pet store next to the bunny cage. He was happy as he petted every single animal and then tried to hold the scorpions. They finally reached the car. Yuugi sat down struggling to fix his wedgy while Mokuba mindlessly played with his feathers.  
  
Seto, in the driver's seat, grumbled with a look of pure disgust. Then, everyone noticed that Jouno had a big smile on his face. /Hey,/ he said with his sugar high wearing off, /I accidentally forgot to put something back in the pet store./ With that, he held out his hand to reveal a large, black tarantula. Anzu screamed, Ryou motioned away, but Malik grabbed one of its hairy legs and shoved the whole spider into one of his giant cargo pockets. He proceeded to stare out the window at an unknown sight.  
  
Yuugi was dropped back at his house and headed up to his room. Out of tiredness, he flopped onto his bed. Yuugi giggled to himself under his breath, "He he. Spherical milk forms..." Yami sighed, not caring that his aibo was mocking him. For Yuugi was still wearing the shorts Yami had gotten him...  
  
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There you go. Yay colons! I mean, ideas! 


	8. General Mr Clean

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
Hey all my readers, or reader. I really do not know whose out there. Anyway, a reader of mine and also a friend of mine wrote this chapter! Thank you SILVERSHADOWFIRE (great idea) and JUNKO THE LOST (great writer). See, this is what happens when you review with ideas. Sena-chan publishes you! RRE  
  
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Malik whirled into the Motou residence, grinning like an evil, demonic, slightly hungry kitten. Like usual, he hadn't bothered knocking, merely allowing himself inside. But inside, he found something quite unexpected, Ryou and Jouno, cowering in front of Yuugi. He stifled a small giggle before he saw the look in Yuugi's eyes.  
  
/Um . . . hi,/ he muttered, turning to do a complete 180 and walk back out the door before Yuugi grabbed him by the back of his shirt. /Heh-heh, what's up, Yuugi?/ He smiled nervously.  
  
"I have decided, since you guys find it so funny to impose in my house you can start earning your keep," Yuugi growled.  
  
/But I-/ Malik started, ready to make a million and one excuses.  
  
"I don't care and I do not want to know, now, go get started cleaning the bathroom." Yuugi pointed upstairs, his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. Malik finally got a good look at Yuugi's outfit. He wore a pink apron, and along one strap, a line of army stripes went down, ranking him as a general. "Oh, and before you go, drop and give me fifty."  
  
Ryou and Jouno instantly went to work doing push-ups as Malik just stood and gaped.  
  
"Did I tell you to stand around like a moron?" Yuugi asked, voice a dangerous growl of annoyance. Ryou reached up and pulled Malik down to the ground. Yuugi smiled and walked out of the room with a usual hyper perk to his step.  
  
/Better do what he says, he's really mad,/ Jouno huffed.   
  
/He's not serious, is he? I can't clean, I've never cleaned a day in my life. I'll ruin my clothes. Not to mention my hair, and my eyeliner./  
  
Ryou rolled his eyes. /You're going to have to. He gets like this every once in awhile, goes a little insane. You should have seen the time my Yami broke his vase. I swear he did the most accurate demon impression I've ever seen./  
  
Jouno chose this moment to enter the conversation. /Yeah, and then there was the time he went insane and nearly ate all the food in the fridge. Wait, that was me./ Jouno looked confused and appeared to be thinking hard. Ryou and Malik just stared in utter bewilderment.  
  
/C'mon we better go get started cleaning," Ryou said, standing up. /We really don't want to make him any angrier, believe me./ Malik grumbled something about stupid hygiene tendencies, but followed, albeit reluctantly and appearing to try to thwart the air with his rod.  
  
Suddenly Ryou stopped on the stairs, freezing. He got a huge grin on his face and turned to look into the living room, upon the table was sitting Yuugi's deck.  
  
Just as quickly, his eyes softened, looking very, very afraid. /No, Yami, you can't./  
  
Oh, but I can, dear hikari, a much deeper voice said.  
  
/But that's Yuugi's./  
  
That's why I'm going to STEAL it. To the onlooker it would have appeared that Ryou was arguing with himself, but Malik knew that the spirit of the Ring was possessing him, although he wasn't trying to stop it. Hell, he found it hilarious.  
  
Suddenly, he was being tapped on the shoulder. He whirled around to face a very confused looking Jounouchi.  
  
/What?/ he questioned, very annoyed at having been interrupted in what might possibly be his only entertainment all day.  
  
/Why is Ryou yelling at himself?/ Jounouchi replied.  
  
Malik sweat-dropped, sighing to himself. At that moment, Yuugi walked back into the room, apparently having heard the arguments of Ryou and Yami Bakura.  
  
He grabbed the Ring from around Ryou's neck, walked over to the fish tank, and dropped it inside, walking back into the kitchen once again. The others just watched as the ring sunk to the bottom of the fish tank, some fish floating around it as it bubbled helplessly.  
  
/Wow, who would've thought of that?/ Ryou asked, clearly amazed.  
  
/I know,/ Malik said in equal awe, though a bit perturbed that Yuugi had ruined his only form of entertainment, though it was even funnier to think of the mental image of Yami Bakura sitting at the bottom of the fish tank, looking pissed as bright purple fish floated around him.  
  
/Anyone hungry?/ Jouno questioned, at exactly the wrong time. Both Malik and Ryou glared at him as he raised his hands in silent surrender. /Jeez, I'm just hungry./  
  
From the kitchen, Yuugi shouted, "Did I or did I not tell you to clean the bathroom? Unless you never want to be allowed into my house again."  
  
Ryou, Malik, and Jouno scrambled upstairs.  
  
_Yuugi?_Yami questioned.  
  
"What?" Yuugi replied.  
  
_Don't you think you're being a little harsh on them?  
_  
"No, they deserve it." Yuugi smiled to himself, very happy that he'd finally put his friends in their place.  
  
Yami suddenly started giggling inside Yuugi's head.  
  
"What's so funny?"  
  
Just thinking about how angry the tomb robber's going to be when he gets out of the fish bowl.

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There you go. I thought that was funny (because she got all the odd little jokes set into my other chap-lettes.) I shall be back with another of my own chap-lettes. Review with ideas! Arigato!


	9. Strawberry Birthday Cake

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- _italisized _(thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
Okay, I have been conflicted lately. I have come to the conclusion that this story has no plot, no point, and makes no sense. DUH! It's called Yu- Gi-NONSENSE. Deal with it readers. Some chappies seem to be about mainly one character and then another won't even show up. Like this one, where's Yami! Oh, well. Anyway, thanx FACETEDINSANITY for the idea. RRE  
  
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The house was finally clean, although no one knew why it had to be so spotless. That was, until Anzu came bursting everyone's room at the crack of dawn the next day. /Birthday party!/ she yelled. /Come downstairs for presents./  
  
Yuugi sat up with a startle. He slid out bed and began to smile. Now he remembered, Anzu had set up a party for Yami Malik. Yuugi had cleaned the house to get it ready for the celebration. Hey, why not? He had a bunch of people just hanging that could be put to work. Malik trudged bleary eyed into Yuugi's door and asked, /What's happening?/ He gently ran his fingers over the cold Millennium rod held in his left hand. /Why are we up so early?/  
  
"It's Yami Malik's birthday party, silly. Didn't you know? Tell him." Malik's expression changed as Yami Malik took over.  
  
Kill him, kill who? he hurriedly questioned.  
  
"No," Yuugi replied, "'tell him' I said. It's your 3012 1/4th birthday. Yay!"  
  
Um, okay. Can I leave now?  
  
"No, time to go downstairs." Yuugi seized Yami Malik's arm and began to pull him down the stairway. The confused Egyptian groaned the whole way for he did understand the pointless concept of a birthday. They walked into the kitchen. Ryou stood in front of the stove, as usual, with piles of bacon and eggs in front of him "Okay, Yami Malik, you get a cake," Yuugi declared.  
  
/Yes,/ Ryou interrupted. /I will make you any flavor you want./  
  
Yami Malik stood there thinking for a moment, then a devious grin began to curl on his face. Hmm, I think I'll take strawberry. He chuckled out loud and then left for the living room. Yuugi stared up at Ryou and frowned.  
  
"Why did he laugh at that? I love strawberries."  
  
/Huh, I recall Bakura telling me of this. Strawberries, like chocolate and others things, are aphrodisiacs. I don't know what they are, but Bakura knows a lot about them./  
  
The whole house sat in the living room as Anzu bounced around putting paper birthday hats on everyone. She did have trouble with such hairstyles as Yuugi and Honda. So, Anzu improvised by placing the hat on their highest hair spike. Yami Malik just growled and shoved the waded up hat down the back of her shirt. Nearly everybody, even Yuugi, laughed.  
  
Time passed and Yuugi found Jounouchi lurking in the kitchen,, probably lured in by the baking cake's aroma. Ryou bent over to open the oven door, pulled out the cake, and iced it in a flash. The cake, at Yami Malik's request, was food color black with a giant red 3012 ¼ plastered on the surface. Jouno requested, /Can I help put the candles on?/  
  
Ryou nodded. /Yes, I'll start with the candles I have got over here and you two can get some extras from the drawer over there./ Yuugi and Jouno turned to get the candles and turned back around. The cake was now _covered _in waxy blue birthday candles. Each one was arranged into an intricate design. /Done, I didn't need those extra candles,/ Ryou stated plainly. The two stood staring at the work of art with mouths agape.  
  
/It's a miracle!/ Jouno exclaimed with hands in the air. /There must be thousands of candles on that thing!/  
  
/3012 ¼, to be exact./ Ryou said proudly pointing to the quarter of a candle in middle of the design.  
  
/But, how? And, when? And, what?/ Jounouchi grunted and stomped out of the room. Yuugi shook the dumb founded look from his face and replaced it with a smile.  
  
/Oh, bloody hell,/ Ryou said, /I don't have a match to light all these./ Leaving the kitchen, Yuugi found the party guests sitting in a circle on the living room carpet.  
  
Honda pulled out a box from beneath the couch. /Time to play Mouse Trap!/ He looked in the box's contents and moaned. /There are no dice in here. We can't play without one./ Every person turned and looked at Otogi.  
  
/What? Oh, no. You can't have my earring./ With that, the players jumped on him. When they sat back down, Honda had the dice in his hand, but Otogi had lost his shirt. Unsure looks went around. Yami Malik smirked while concealing the shirt behind his back. Yami became over excited and took control of Yuugi. Round after round, Yami won every single one. He hoarded all the little cardboard pieces of cheese and expertly maneuvered his mouse around the spaces. Why?! No one understood.  
  
Later on, Ryou evidently got bored of cooking and decided on joining Yuugi and Yami Malik in the dining room to talk. Jounouchi showed up to join the conversation. The discussion's topic shifted suddenly and Jouno began asking questions about the Millennium items. His curiosity apparently over- whelmed him and he grabbed the rod. Bad idea. Give me back to the boy, you fool! he yelled at himself. Jounouchi could tell Yami Malik was mad as the ancient spirit shouted in his head. He handed the rod back to Malik and stepped away just before Yami Malik was able to reach out and strangle Jouno. He then ran out of the room and returned grinning with a pair of oven mitts. The magic of the Millennium items must have intrigued him more than expected. Jouno reached out with the mitts and switched the items upon the hikaris.  
  
The shock of the event smacked Yami as he realized he was holding the Millenium puzzle while in Malik's body. He almost gasped, but instead smiled at his new height advancement. He straightened up. Yuugi had received the ring and Bakura now inhibited his body. Bakura grumbled as he looked down at his outfit and then up at his hair. He was wearing a black tank top and now had giant hair spikes and blond bangs. Ergh. All could do was use his hands to try to flatten the spikes. Meanwhile, Yami Malik was in Ryou's body. Nothing much bothered him; he just glared because he did not have his usual cape. At least he was not in the idiotic child's body again.  
  
Jouno left the room, leaving his little swap alone with an accomplished look on his face. It did not take long, though, for the hikaris to get their items in the correct places. Because Bakura came up to Jouno, turned around, grabbed the Millennium rod from Malik, and clunk the boy on the head with it. Yuugi asked Jouno, "Comment t'allez-vous?"  
  
/What? I don't speak Spanish,/ lightly tounching the bump that was forming on his scalp.  
  
"That was French, Jouno. Tu es un tres bon prof francais," he replied, mentioning that he was a _great _French teacher.  
  
Seto walked in. /Oh, you guys are still having your little party./ Then, he took one look at Jouno's head bump and laughed, /Nice lump./  
  
/Thanks,/ Jounouchi answered. Hemust not be able to understand sarcasm in French or English. Oh, Ra.  
  
Yuugi headed up to his room. _Is it over?_  
  
"Oh, Yami. It was fun!" The day had ended and as he laid his head down to go to bed, Jouno ran past the door yelling.  
  
Yami Malik followed. Come on, Jounouchi. Let's play a little pin the tail on the idiot with my rod. Ryou past the door, too. His face was burned from probably trying to light the 3012 1/4 candles with great success. _He, he, _Yami thought_. A flaming cake. _Yuugi just shook his head and went to sleep. Yuugi dreamed of Care Bears. While Yami dreamed about strawberries and chocolate.  
  
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It's finally over. I have got many more chapters prewritten but I still love to receive ideas. You know they will be posted, _you know._


	10. Bouncing Beetles

Yuugi – "quoted" (out loud)  
  
Yami- italicized (thinking)  
  
Anyone else - /back slashed/ (out loud) arrow if two-sided person  
  
This is just a little car chapter. To begin, for anyone who thinks Yuugi is spelled with one u, not two, I AM SPELLING IT THE JAPANESE WAY! It is the same with the other names, like Honda = Tristen, Jounouchi = Joey, Yuugi = Yugi, Anzu = Tea ... and so on. In Japan, it's called Yuugiou and I am used to using Japanese names, just... because! Okay, okay? Just RRE.  
  
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Yuugi came outside the next day with a major cake hangover. He had woke up in the middle of the night hungry and ate the remains of the half eaten birthday cake. This left his PJs covered in black frosting. Not caring about his odd attire, Yuugi walked down his front walkway to get the newspaper. He caught a glimpse of the front-page article. It said something like, "Cafeteria Kaiba," but his attention was drawn elsewhere to the driveway. There sat a shiny new Beetle. Malik stood next to it buffing the roof with care.  
  
"Neato car, Malik," Yuugi exclaimed.  
  
/It is great, isn't it,/ Malik replied with obvious pride. /It's got a black leather interior and snaking flames painted along the sides./ He ran his fingers down the length of the car and then leaned against it. /You've got to hear its 400-horse power motor./ He sat down in the front seat and turned the key. The engine roared to life.  
  
Just then, Ryou pulled up in another car. It was a shiny new Beetle, also. But, it was hot pink with flowers embroidered all over it. /Hey guys,/ Ryou said while jumping out of the parked car. /Like my new car?/  
  
Malik moaned and looked at Yuugi. /He wanted one like mine. But, hey. Where are the flames? It may be similar to mine, but it isn't as cool./ Malik leaned against his Beetle's door and the engine gave a lurch. A gurgle and a final _pop _silenced the motor. Malik felled to his knees. /Nooooo, I just got it and I am supposed to go to the movies today./  
  
/Um,/ Ryou interrupted, /you can borrow my car./  
  
Malik glared at the bright pink pod. /Okaaayyyy.../ he agreed. Then, Seto and Mokuba pulled up in a blue convertible. He motioned for everyone to get a move on. The houseguests, except for Mokuba and Seto, piled into the Beetle and drove away from the house and Ryou. He decided to stay behind. They hit the highway and Malik leaned forward on the sheepskin covered driver's seat to turn on the radio. He gently twisted the dial and found a rap song. He began bumping his head along with the beat. The other passengers joined in. Seto pulled up in the lane next to them and stare at the car. He could not hear the music and it seemed that they were nuts. Each passenger bopped their head in perfect union. He shivered and sped ahead, out of visual range of the whackos.  
  
The song ended and the radio was turned off. Malik sighed and mindlessly looked at the rear view mirror. A black spot raced closer on the road behind him. It came nearer and steered into the empty lane new to him. /It's Ryou in my Beetle!/ Malik shouted.  
  
Ryou opened the window and waved. /I fixed it! All it needed was a spoon,/ and his voice faded away as he used all 400 horses to race off.  
  
"How did he fix it with a spoon," Yuugi asked.  
  
/I don't know./ Malik just hunched his shoulders and gripped the wheel white knuckled. They had luckily reached the theatre. He got out and walked up to Ryou. Ryou had evidentially gotten there several minutes ago and had his ticket (hmmm... I wonder how he got there so fast?). Malik requested, /Can I have my car back now?/  
  
/Only if you admit that my car is totally hot and is a sexy car,/ Ryou answered.  
  
/Do I have to./ Ryou nodded. /Okay, it is a hot sexy car,/ Malik respond as quickly as possible.  
  
/What, I can't hear you?/  
  
/YOUR BEETLE IS A HOT FUCKIN' SEXY SEX MACHINE!!!/ Malik had said that way too loud. A girl and her family frowned at him as they passed by. Malik blushed with embarrassment and gave them a little finger wave.  
  
Satisfied with Malik's indignity, Ryou stated, /Ok, you can have it back./ Malik growled. Ryou was mocking him and loving every second of it. Ugh.  
  
The group began to enter the theatre when Yuugi became interested in Seto's car. He slipped into the driver's seat and flipped open a lid on the dashboard. A collection of shiny buttons and levers presented themselves. Yuugi was fascinated and began pushing them randomly. Now, Seto had a lot of extra cash. So, he spent much of it on getting odd features on his convertible. One of these features was hydraulics. You know, the thing that makes ghetto cars bounce up and down at the driver's command. Anyway, Yuugi pushed a certain knob and the convertible began to spring up and down. Yuugi's head jerked with each fall. He burst out giggling.  
  
By now, some of his friends noticed and returned to the curb. They smiled as they watched the fun. Jouno began asking for a ride and Seto started to holler for Yuugi to stop. Finally, Ryou jumped into the car and fiddled with the controls. The bouncing ceased. Yuugi stepped out of the car looking kind of dizzy and Yami groaned in his head.  
  
/Are we done?/ Seto bleakly asked. Everybody nodded.  
  
The cinema was dark and drab with few movies to choose from. They ended up seeing _Van Helsing_. That turned out to be a bad idea because Yami Malik began yelling, I can cause more destruction than that! during the show. Plus, Bakura got annoyed and started flicking popcorn at Seto. It ending with Malik and his other side being thrown out of the theatre and Bakura left to wash Seto's coke from his hair.  
  
As Yuugi left after the film, he questioned Yami. "Were there enough demons for you?"  
  
_Well, _he replied with a slightly disappointed tone, _yes. But where was the clown fish?_  
  
"Oh, Yami."  
  
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Arigato! Plus, I love reviews. Review me with ideas. Man, I sound like a broken record. Hmmm... oh, well! Bye! **ATTENTION: GO TO YUUGI NONSENSE 2. IT IS CONTINUED THERE. THIS STORY JUST GOT TOO LONG ... GO!!!**


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